


A Little Unsteady

by RunawayTh0ughts



Category: Callie Tores, Derek Sheperd - Fandom, Greys Anatomy, Merder - Fandom, Meredith GREY - Fandom, arizona robbins - Fandom
Genre: Doctors, F/F, F/M, Love, Surgery, affair, f/f - Freeform, f/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunawayTh0ughts/pseuds/RunawayTh0ughts
Summary: When a young intern by the name of Jamie Quinn starts her first year at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital she had no idea what she was getting herself into.Late nights, drinking, drugs, blood,surgery,love and loss all wrapped up into one humanWill it be more than she can handle? Or will she find the love of her life to pull her through?
Relationships: Arizona Robbins/Callie Torres, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan, Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

"Each of you comes here today a hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure and two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That's up to you!" Chief of Surgery Dr. Richard Webber stood half way up the steps in the main entrance hall of Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital and gave us the speech that either sent us running or sent waves of excitement through our bodies

Webber quickly concluded his speech and we were soon assigned Attendings to shadow for the rest of the year. I stood beside 4 other interns, we were all assigned to the same Attending.

"I sure hope we don't get medusa" one of the female interns mumbled inwardly to the group

"Whose medusa?" another intern gulped as his eyes widened at the nickname

"Interns?" We heard a sharp call from the double doors near the reception area

"Shit!" The intern who earlier spoke about Medusa made it clear who we were facing as she cursed under her breath

"I'm Dr. Grey and I'll be your senior attending this year" she mumbled uninterested as she checked her pager "I have five rules" she continued "Memorize them. Rule number one: Don't bother sucking up. I already hate you. That's not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone list, pagers." She said as she handed us the necessary equipment we had to keep on our person at all times.

"Nurses will page you, you will answer every page at a run. A run! That's rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You're interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, work every second night until you drop, and don't complain. On-call rooms, Attendings hog them. Sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three. If I'm sleeping don't wake me unless your patient is dying, Rule four: the dying patient better not be dead when I get there. Not only will you have killed someone, you woke me for no reason. We clear?" Dr Grey came to the end of her lecture and we all stood back overwhelmed

I raised my hand in curiosity

"What?" Grey snapped

"You said five rules, that was only four" I spoke up bravely as the other 4 turned to stare at me

"Rule number five: When I move, YOU move!" Grey shouted as she took off in a sprint through the halls as her pager went crazy beeping

We took off behind her and entered our first patient room and saw the woman convulsing in fits in front of us. Each one of us froze except for Dr Grey. She launched into action fearlessly, calling out orders to everyone around her.

"We need a crash cart in here" Grey called out into the hallway "Don't you idiots just stand there! Quinn push one of epinephrine, Ross get the paddles off the crash cart and prepare for defib, Blake begin compressions and the rest of you just make yourselves god damn useful" Grey ordered 

We all moved into action as quickly as we possibly could, the room became manic and just as quick as it happened, it was over. We managed to stabilise the patient and our first crisis was averted.

Dr Grey took a quick glance at us all and left the room without saying another word. We all took a massive sigh of relief and made our way to the Intern locker room.

"I'm Cassandra Blake" the young bright blue eyed brunette cheerily turned to face us as we all took a seat in the locker room "but you can all call me Cassie"

I stood up and gave her a polite nod as I turned to face my locker and I opened it slowly inspecting it carefully, removing my stethoscope and placing it around my neck.

"I'm Daniel Ross" a tall blonde haired boy spoke from the end of the row of lockers "call me Danny"

"I'm Rose Smith" a small, shy, red head announced quietly from the bench in front of the lockers

"I'm Justin Jones" another guy leaning against the lockers spoke up, he wasn't as tall as Danny but he had very defined features and deep chocolate coloured eyes and hair.

I was the last to introduce myself. I left it a minute to say something but spoke up once the others started looking at me.

"Quinn" I smiled politely "Jamie Quinn"

"Nice to meet you Jamie" Justin held out his hand with a flirtatious smile

"Justin, leave the girl alone" Danny butted in

I shook my head at their childish behaviour but smiled and shook Justin's hand anyway

"So what's the deal with Medusa? Why's she called that" I asked turning to face the girls

"That's Meredith Grey" Cassie said in admiration

"No way" I said, realisation hitting "THAT'S Ellis Grey's daughter? THE Ellis Grey" I asked in amazement 

"It sure is" Rose agreed with my amazement 

"So whose service are you guys starting with for the week?" Danny asked curiously

"I'm with, uh, Dr Jackson Avery" Cassie said as she looked down at her rotation sheet "He's plastics right?" she asked as she looked up for assurance

"That guy is Harper Avery's grandson!" Danny exclaimed

"What?" I questioned in disbelief "how are we supposed to look good beside all these frickin legends?" I shook my head looking down at my own rotation sheet

"I've got a Dr Alex Karev, in paediatrics" I sighed "ugh dying babies is not a good start to my internship" 

"I have Dr Grey in general" Rose sighed "great"

"Too bad kiddo" Justin hit Rose's back with a sympathetic clap as he picked his rotation sheet up from the bench beside me "I'm with Dr Derek Shepherd in Neuro! NICE!" Justin exclaimed

"WHAT?" I looked up at Justin "I forgot Derek Shepherd was here too! God all these unbelievable surgeons and I get stuck Dr Alex 'Nobody' Karev" I grumbled

"Don't beat yourself up" Danny spoke now "I'm with a Dr April Kepner in the E.R, is she anyone special?" Danny asked hopefully

"Pfft, I heard she failed her residency boards because she had sex with Dr Avery in the bathroom before the test and she got distracted" Cassie said and we all burst into fits of laughter

Just as the laughing began to die down a tall man with short brown hair and hard, dark chocolate eyes and a furrowed brow line burst through the door

"Quinn, get off your ass and answer you god damn pager" the doctor ordered furiously 

"Uh, yes, um, sorry Doctor Karev" I fumbled with my pager and jumped from the bench as I ran to follow Karev out the door. I stopped just before leaving the room and looked back at the rest of the group. I mouthed the words help and gave a strained look

"Good luck" they called sympathetically 

I ran and soon caught up with Dr Karev, walking at a furious pace beside him

"Dr Karev, I'm sorry about earlier I wasn't keeping an eye on my pager, I hope this doesn't set us off on the wrong foot" I stuttered as I tried to issue an apology

"Do that again and a patient could be dead" he mumbled

I hung my head and shut my mouth as we entered the elevator up to the paediatric floor and exited. At the main desk there stood another doctor, she seemed a little older than Karev, but when she turned my way I was taken back by her striking, glittering blue eyes and golden shoulder length blonde hair, she wore a friendly, welcoming smile and approached me cheerfully.

"Hi, I'm Arizona Robbins" she smiled as she shook my hand "I'm head of paediatrics, I hope Doctor Karev has been treating you well" she said doubtfully

Karev scoffed at her remark

"I look forward to learning under you both Dr Robbins" I smiled, ignoring her last comment on Karev

Like my mother always says, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all

My first day was a whirlwind and this was just the beginning. I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.


	2. The First Week, Then Forever

It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there's the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn't help to get too familiar, to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It's all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.

"Quinn get to rounds already will you!" Karev scolded as he walked by

I had literally just woken from a 20 minute power nap after a 30 hour shift and now its 6am and I'm back at it for another day.

"Yes sir" I said timidly as I followed behind Dr Karev to our first patient while the rest of the intern group caught up with us at the room

"Quinn speak" Karev said as we entered the patient's room

Lying there was a young boy with dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes, he was pale and weak. He was surrounded by his mother, father and his older sister. The worry and stress was plain to see across each of their faces. They just wanted their little guy to get better.

"This is Nico Miller, he is 8 years old and suffering from osteosarcoma. He's here with us today for a tumour removal from the distal femur which will be performed by Dr Torres and Dr Karev. This is Nico's seventh surgery and is currently on the transplant list for a bone marrow transplant." I said with confidence while looking at Nico's chart on my tablet, then looked up and smiled at the family

"Dr Torres is currently in another surgery but we're going to get Nico prepped and ready and we'll have him in the OR as soon as possible Mr and Mrs Miller" Karev said sweetly as he walked over to Nico's bed side

This first week on Karev's service was extremely difficult, he was an ass and a slave driver but when it came to the patients he was a completely different person. He was sweet, kind and caring. It made all the interns swoon for about 5 seconds until he turned into Satan once again.

"Ross and Smith, get Nico prepped. Quinn come with me and the rest of you go finish rounds" Karev mumbled as we left the room

"What is it sir?" I asked as I swiftly followed behind Dr Karev

"Don't call me sir, it's weird and old fashioned. Plus I'm not the chief. Just call me Doctor Karev alright?" Karev said in annoyance as he turned to face me

"Yes si.... I mean, yes Dr Karev" I smiled "What do you need me for?" I asked with a more serious tone now

"Robbins wants you to go watch her surgery on some kid named Julie? She's in OR 2 right now" Karev informed me as he flipped through charts on his tablet

"Oh right! Yes! Thank you sir" I said as I took to a jogging pace 

"It's Doctor Karev" he yelled after me

"Sorry" I called back with a laugh

I turned to see him grumble to himself but there was a hint of a smile touching the corners of his lips as he turned away. The guy wasn't all that bad.

I made my way to the elevator at the end of the paeds floor and made my way down to the OR floor and into OR 2. There was no need for me to scrub in since I wasn't actually operating yet, just watching and learning. Julie was a 6 year old girl with neuroblastoma. Her SATs were poor last night so Dr Robbins and I worked through the night to keep her stable and now Robbins and Dr Derek Shepherd were performing a craniotomy on Julie.

"Nice to see you Dr Quinn" Dr Robbins greeted me cheerfully

"Good morning Dr Robbins, good morning Dr Shepherd" I said as I stood near the operating table

"Morning Dr Quinn, how are you?" Shepherd said chivalrously

"Good, thank you Doctor"

"Did you get some sleep Doctor Quinn?" Robbins asked curiously

"Just grabbed a power nap before rounds" I replied as I strained my neck to see the screen 

"Good, why don't you come up here beside me and get a better look at Julie's surgery. Dr Shepherd has just reached the tumour and he's gotta control this bleeder first" Robbins informed me

I stood just behind Dr Robbins' shoulder and looked in at what Dr Shepherd was doing. 

"Her brain is swelling the bleeding is too much for her" Dr Shepherd said worryingly "I can't control this bleeder" 

Her BP began to drop. Her heart couldn't take the strain of the bleed and she went into V-Fib.

"Paddles" Dr Robbins ordered the scrub nurse hurriedly "Derek keep draining the bleeding, I need to stabilise her heart" 

"Arizona she's bleeding too much. If she wakes from this she'll have next to no motor function and soon enough she'll be brain dead." Dr Shepherd said in a deep serious tone

"Derek we have to try!" Dr Robbins snapped in reply "Charge to 150" Dr Robbins rubbed the paddles together "Clear" she called before hitting Julie with a shock from the defibrillator. Her body jerked upwards and landed back on the table. No change

"Charge to 200" Robbins yelled

"Arizona" Shepherd said sternly

"Clear" once again Robbins shocked her but her hart flat lined 

"Arizona, she's gone! Let her go" Dr Shepherd yelled

Dr Robbins threw the paddles back onto the crash cart and ripped her mask from her face. She pulled her scrub gown from her body and threw it into the waste container along with her mask and gloves and she stormed out through the OR doors. Shepherd hung his head and stepped away from Julie's lifeless body and placed his tools back onto the tray beside him. He removed his mask and looked up at the clock.

"Time of death. 8:45am" Dr Shepherd said sadly

I stood away from the table and let him pass me. I could feel tears brimming my eyes and I knew I had to stop before anyone saw me. Pediatrics was a bitch and I couldn't wait until this week's rotation was finished.

The day went from bad to worse. When Ross and Smith finally prepped Nico and got him to the OR it was almost 4pm before Dr Torres could perform the surgery. Ross, Smith and I all observed from the gallery. When Torres opened him she found Nico's tumor had significantly worsened and was eating away the bone marrow in his leg. The leg would soon go necrotic. Dr Torres and Dr Karev had no choice but to amputate Nico's leg. He was just 8 years old and now he has to live with a prosthetic for the rest of his life. It was 7pm when the surgery was finished, I then had to complete a round of post ops and as soon as that clock struck 9pm I got the hell out of there and hit Joe's to blow off some steam with the other interns. As I stuffed my scrubs into my locker I grabbed my bag and left the room. As I walked towards the main doors of the hospital Doctor Karev stopped me in my tracks

"Good work this week Quinn, you're not as shitty of an intern as I expected" Karev said as he left his tablet back into the nurses station without even looking up at me

"Thanks Doctor Karev" I smiled as I turned and left the hospital

*** 

"Tequila" Cassie and I both said in sync as we sat at the bar

"Tough week?" Cassie asked as she turned to face me

"The worst" I mumbled as I grabbed up my Tequila and drank as much as I could in one go

"Well that's our first week as interns done and dusted" Justin butted in as he raised his glass

We all grunted in acknowledgement and held our glasses up sarcastically. We all took a seat at a table and began discussing the week we just had. One of the bar staff walked towards us and placed another shot of tequila in front of me.

"Sorry dude, I didn't order this" I said confused

"It's from that guy" the bar man said uninterested as he pointed towards a guy at the far side of the bar

"Is that Doctor Karev?" Rose asked blushing

"Yeah" I smiled as I looked down at the drink "It sure is"


	3. Alex

"Quinn, whose service you got this week?" Danny asked curiously as he entered the intern locker room

"I'm on Neuro with Derek Shepherd" I answered enthusiastically

"I'm with Karev, you had him already right? What can I expect?" Danny asked inquisitively

"Right" I nodded "Uh, lots of sweet hugs and kisses" I smiled sarcastically as I stood up to leave the room

"Not cool" he called out just as I shut the door behind me

It had been a month since we started our surgical internship and it certainly wasn't getting any easier, although Joe's certainly helped to take some of the pain away. I made my way down the hallway to the elevator and up to the OR floor. I was about to watch Dr Shepherd perform an intracranial electrode placement surgery on a patient suffering from epilepsy.

"Good morning everyone" Dr Shepherd said as he entered the OR

"Good morning Doctor Shepherd" the scrub nurses and I replied

"All right everyone, it's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's get started." Dr Shepherd said enthusiastically

This surgery is 6 hours long, but one of the shortest in neurosurgery. I knew I had a lot longer ones ahead of me this week. Dr Shepherd has to precisely place electrodes throughout the patient's brain to map exactly where the source of his epileptic fits are coming from. Derek Shepherd is the best in his field and people come from all over the state to be operated on by him. I almost couldn't contain my excitement working for him.

"Dr Quinn why don't you come on over here and get a better look at what I'm doing" Dr Shepherd called over to me

"Thank you sir" I smiled through my mask as I made my way towards the operating table

*** 

6 hours later and we had successfully made it through the surgery without any complications. I returned the patient to his room along with Dr Shepherd and monitored his post ops closely.

"Thank you for letting me into your surgery today Dr Shepherd. It was amazing to work with you." I said appreciatively as I took note of the patients SATs

"No problem Dr Quinn. I suggest you go take a nap. We've got a 9 hour surgery coming up this evening. You should rest up." Dr Shepherd said as he went to exit the room

I finished the patients post op care and made my way to the on call room. Praying there wasn't some intern and attending going at it again. I walked into the dark room to find it empty for once. Until a shadowed figure emerged from the corner of the room. I jumped back a little until I saw the familiar face.

"Dr Karev, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there" I huffed as I took a few steps away from the door

"Its fine Quinn" he mumbled as he brushed past me to pick up his white coat off the bed

"Is everything ok sir?" I ask concerned 

"Quinn, didn't I tell you to call me Doctor Karev" Karev said loudly as he swung round to face me 

"Yes, sorry" I whispered as he hovered extremely close to me

"And to answer your question. I'm fine" Dr Karev now lowered his voice to match mine as he remained face to face with me

"That's good" I could barely muster a whisper as his gaze robbed me of my thoughts

"When are you back on my service?" He asked

"Next week" I whispered a reply feeling the energy build between us

"Good" he mumbled as he leaned in closer. His face now directly in front of mine

Before I could say anything, Alex leaned in and placed his lips gently on mine. Uncertain as to how I would react. But I went with it. He pulled in closer to me and wrapped one arm around my waist as he placed his free hand on my cheek, deepening the kiss. It soon became heated and intense but I knew this was a mistake. Sure, Dr Karev wasn't all bad but he was my attending and I certainly didn't want to get on the wrong side of him. Over the last month we had only ever spoken in Joes. A few late night conversations on a Saturday but that's as far as it went. I slowly pulled away from him and turned to face the door.

"Sorry for disturbing you Doctor" I breathed. Trying to regain my breath after the kiss

"Dr Quinn, wait, I didn't mean, can you just stop for a..." Doctor Karev stuttered as he tried to issue an apology but he couldn't get the words straight

"Forget about it Alex" I mumbled as I opened the door and left in a huff

It was the first time I had said his name like that. I never called him Alex. But it felt strange.

It felt right.


	4. Just The Beginning

So I managed to avoid Dr Karev's service after what happened that night. It's been 3 weeks since I've spoken to him, as an intern that's a pretty hard task and it meant many awkward hallway swerves and dives into supply closets. I also had to avoid Joes for the last 3 weeks which wasn't fun. At first the other interns didn't really pay attention, then they started asking why I wasn't coming out on Fridays after work. I couldn't tell any of them what happened because first of all they probably wouldn't believe me, second of all they'd probably laugh because I pulled away from the kiss. The only person I could trust was Rose. She was quiet and didn't really talk to the other interns, but we got along great.

I told her what happened and she totally agreed that I did the right thing by stopping the kiss and avoiding him.

I left my thoughts in the locker room and exited, preparing for my morning rounds. 

"Hey Dr Quinn, we miss you on the peads floor!" Dr Robbins approached me with her usual perky smile

"Oh, hi Dr Robbins. Yeah I, uh, I've just been trying out different services you know, getting an all-round education" I smiled with a hint of sarcasm in my tone

"Oh I totally get it" Dr Robbins shook her head and smiled. God her smile was so adorable, you couldn't help but be happy around her "Why don't you scrub in on a colorectal carcinoma removal with me and Dr Karev later on?" she asked enthusiastically 

It really killed me to reject her offer but I knew I couldn't be in the same room as Alex for that length of time.

"Dr Robbins I'd love to but I'm on Dr Greys service today and I've got rounds and post ops and a ton of paperwork to catch up on" I lied but with sincerity in my tone

"Oh, it's cool! Another time maybe" She nodded and smiled before picking up her tablet from the nurses desk and walking away

I hung my head, cursing myself internally. 'Damn it' I mumbled to myself

"Dr Quinn stop standing around, there are rounds to be done" Dr Grey ordered from behind me and made me jump a little 

"You'd also wanna cut back on whatever it is you're drinking. What is it with jumpy interns huh?" Grey mumbled as she walked past me

"Yes ma'am" I grumbled as I caught up with her and followed her into the first patient's room

"This is Danielle Clarke, she's 17 years old. Danielle is here for a liver transplant she's been on dialysis for the last 7 months and is now at the top of the list to receive a new liver which will be arriving from Oakland later today. Her SATs are stable and BP is 120/80 which is perfectly normal." I said aloud to Dr Grey and 2 other interns 

"Ok Danielle we're going to get you prepped for surgery now and you'll be in and out of the OR in no time" Dr Grey said supportively 

"Good morning Danielle" I heard a familiar voice coming from the doorway

"Hey Dr Karev" Danielle's face lit up as soon as Alex walked in the room

I backed away from the patient's bed and stood behind the other two interns. 

"Dr Quinn is going to get you prepped and ready and then we'll get started ok?" Karev said sweetly

I sighed internally and cursed him every name under the sun. I then looked up and gave the best fake smile I could muster up as I walked back towards the bed. The rest of the interns left along with Dr Grey. It was just Dr Karev and I in the room. I couldn't stand the tension so I left the room to retrieve Danielle's chart.

"What's going on between you and Karev?" Dr Grey asked curiously as I turned to see her signing papers at the nurse's station

"Excuse me?" I asked confused

"You and Alex. What happened?" Dr Grey pushed "The minute he set foot in the room you almost became part of the wall you tried to push yourself so far back, plus you blush like a tomato did you know that?" Dr Grey teased

"No ma'am" I mumbled as I looked down at the chart in my hand

"Do you have a crush on him?" she giggled

"No Doctor" I mumbled in reply, getting annoyed

"Did he say something to you? Because I know he's an ass but if he pushed it too far you can tell me Dr Quinn" she said sincerely 

"He never said anything" I replied with my head still facing down pretending to study the chart

"Did you guys have sex?" Dr Grey asked slyly with a cheeky grin

I looked up in shock

"Dr Grey I don't think this is any of your business. And for your information, no we did not have sex" I said louder this time, with clear annoyance in my tone

"Well Alex made it my business when he kept asking me about you for the last three weeks, asking why you weren't on his or Robbins' service and why you weren't scrubbing in on any of his surgeries" Dr Grey informed me with a sly smile

"We kissed ok!" I said in a harsh whisper, finally caving to her questions "He kissed me and then I stopped before things got too heated and I walked away and I've been avoiding him for the last three weeks because it can't happen again. He's my attending and I'm just and intern and I can't get in trouble" 

Dr Grey gave a sharp laugh and shook her head "Oh Alex" she giggled and took her papers from the table in front of her and she began to walk away

I walked back towards the patient's room and brushed past Dr Karev on his way out.

"Dr Quinn can we talk for a second" Karev whispered

"Not now Dr Karev, I'm busy. I'll see you in surgery." I mumbled as I walked by him and into Danielle's room

*** 

Later that day I scrubbed in on Danielle's liver transplant. Watching Dr Grey and Dr Karev do their thing while the closest I got was controlling the suction. Like Dr Grey promised, Danielle was in and out of surgery in no time. I returned her to her room and monitored her post op care. I finished my other post op rounds on Dr Grey's service and headed to the intern locker room to change. I grabbed my bag and exited the room, looking forward to getting home.

"Hey Jamie, do you want to come to Joes for a drink?" I heard Dr Karev's voice coming from down the hall. I turned to face him as he walked towards me 

"Sorry Dr Karev, I'm just about to head home" I said with no interest

"Look Jamie, about the kiss. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to catch you off like that" Karev said sincerely "You're a pretty hot chick" 

I scoffed at his remark. Typical Karev.

"And I was having a bad day so I thought I could hit it off with you. Turns out you stick to your guns, and you're good at avoiding people. But hey, we saved a girl's life today and I think that's something to celebrate" He finished

I looked away before turning my attention back to him. I sighed in defeat.

"Sure" I gave a small smile

We made our way across the street to Joes and took a seat at the bar.

"2 Tequilas" Alex ordered

That was just the start. We drank until 2am and finally decided to call it a night. We spoke a lot and Karev told a lot of stories from the hospital. He was a pretty decent guy but he still found many ways to ruin that. We both stood up from the bar and he helped me put my coat on.

"Can I walk you home?" he asked smiling

"Sure" I gave a smile in return

We walked down the street towards the block of apartments I called home. He rode the elevator up 2 floors with me and walked me straight to my door.

"Goodnight Doctor Karev" I whispered as I removed my keys from my bag

"Goodnight Doctor Quinn" Alex replied

We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Not knowing what to say or do next. But the moment took hold of us and once again we found our bodies crashing into one another and our lips connecting. The heat, I so desperately tried to forget, rose between us once again. I pulled back and we both stared at each other, watching as our chests rose and fell in sync with our breathlessness. I unlocked my door and turned back to face Alex.

"Would you like to come in Alex?" I asked shyly but with a cheeky grin


	5. Trust Me

I woke up the next morning feeling like I had slept like a log all night. It was only when I sat up and realised who was beside me in the bed that I wished the ground would suddenly open and swallow me whole. What the hell was I thinking? Alex Karev! I mean seriously! He's my frickin boss!

"Morning" I heard his extremely sexy sleepy, morning voice but chose not to respond

He could see I was preoccupied by my thoughts.

"Listen, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I would've left straight away if I knew you were uncomfortable" he said as he sat up and threw his legs out over the bed searching for his pants

I scoffed at his remark

"Great, just another intern ticked off your list. Good to know Dr Karev" I spat as I left the bed, and threw on my long grey t-shirt with NAVY printed in bold black letters on the front. It was my Dads.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that Jamie. I just thought..." he said apologetically as he walked towards me

"Well you thought wrong Alex. Now please, I need to get ready for work. You should leave" I mumbled as I walked into the bathroom next to my bedroom

I heard some mumbles as Alex left the room then I heard his footsteps towards the front door of the apartment and then he was gone. I was such an idiot. Here I was thinking the stories about Alex couldn't have been true, that he was an obnoxious self-centred ass who only cared about himself. I thought he was super sweet and caring and the sex. Well the sex was awesome. How was I supposed to face him at work?

I entered the doors at Grey-Sloan memorial and made my way to the intern locker room. I changed into my scrubs then left to start my morning rounds. I grabbed the elevator up 3 floors and went to the nurse's station to grab one of the tablets with my patient files. I made my way down the hall but I soon realised I was heading straight towards the Attending's lounge and decided to do a complete 180 back towards the other patient rooms.

"You slept with him didn't you?" I jumped in fright as Dr Grey's smug tone came from nowhere

"Good morning Dr Grey" I chose to ignore her comment "I'm just starting on rounds on your patients"

"You slept with Alex Karev didn't you?" She repeated slyly knowing damn well I heard her the first time

"I don't know what you're talking about Dr Grey" I smiled sarcastically

"Oh of course you do. You got freaky with Alex last night because he came in this morning ranting about interns plus I saw you two leave for Joes last night and we all know what comes after alcohol" she smiled smugly

"A headache. That, Dr Grey, is what comes after alcohol" I replied sarcastically

"Sex, Dr Quinn. Sex is what comes after alcohol, more specifically, sex with your boss" Meredith giggled 

"I believe this is none of your business Dr Grey" I mumbled, continuing to walk down the hall

"Oh please Quinn don't be like that" Meredith scoffed "Come on humour me. Clearly it didn't go well if the both of you are pissy" she laughed

"That's the thing!" I finally decided to give up and entertain her "It was amazing. Then I wake up this morning and decide to panic and then I'm a complete ass to him" I say shaking my head

"Then apologise, kiss and make up. He likes you Quinn, you should give him a chance" she said just as we were about to enter a patient's room

"Good morning Jacob" Dr Grey greeted her patient and his wife

"How are we this morning" she asked as she checked the machines surrounding him

"I didn't sleep much so I'm a little tired this morning Dr Grey" Jacob replied softly

"Dr Quinn, present please" Grey said as she looked up from the machines over at me

"Jacob Williams, 35 year old male suffering from Crohn's Disease for the last 4 years and is here for a resection of part of the small intestine to remove necrotic tissue." I delivered

"Ok Jacob, Dr Quinn here is going to prep you for surgery in a little while and we'll have you in and out of the OR in no time ok?" Dr Grey smiled

"Thank you Dr Grey" Jacob's wife acknowledged 

Dr Grey and I left the room

"Can you take the rest of rounds yourself Dr Quinn? I need to go to Zola's recital, I promised her I wouldn't miss this one" Meredith asked 

"Of course Dr Grey" I nodded and smiled

"Great, see you later" she said turning to walk away "Oh and Quinn" she called back before leaving

"Yes Dr Grey?"

"Go talk to Alex" 

I simply nodded and we both walked in our separate directions. What the hell was I supposed to say to him? I began walking down the hall and soon enough speaking to him was inevitable. I saw him coming up the hall and realised there was nowhere to hide.

"Jamie" I heard him call

"Yes Dr Karev, is there something I can do for you?" I tried my best to be polite

"Can you speak to me like a normal human being maybe?" Alex replied sarcastically 

"Sorry" I huffed

Alex grabbed a hold of my white coat and pulled me into the on call room that was right next to us

"What happened? Did I piss you off this morning? I thought we had fun last night?" Alex questioned me after he had closed the door behind him

"We did have fun. It was great. That's the problem" I said

"I don't see how that's a problem Jamie" Alex said in confusion

"I had a great time and you were amazing, but I'm just an intern and this will only last about a week before you get bored and move on" I sighed

"Hey, hey I never said that" Alex whispered as he drew closer to me 

"You didn't have to say it Alex. It's obvious, it's what you do." I said exasperated 

"Jamie just give me a chance, don't listen to what everyone else is saying. Let me show you that you are not just some intern! Trust me" he said in a low tone as his face was directly opposite mine

"I trust you" I whispered, overwhelmed by his close proximity

He leaned in and his lips fell softly onto mine. It wasn't as intense as the last time, there was no rush behind it only soft, velvet ease. I wrapped my arms slowly around his neck as his arms snaked around my waist and he pulled me in closer until our bodies were touching. 

We both took a step back, breathless after our encounter and I knew then that he deserved a chance. We both deserved a chance


	6. Crazy, Twisted Things

At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know, If you're willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.

"Hey Alex, do you want some breakfast?" I called into the next room where Alex lay in our bed

"Yeah sure" he mumbled back as he tried to drag himself from the bed

Alex and I had now been together a month. Well we kind of kept it secret for 3 weeks but eventually Meredith Grey finds out everything, and as soon as she does everyone else will soon find out too. Alex and Meredith are super close. Like I mean REALLY close. She found out about us when she came storming over and kicked me out of the bed one night so that she could talk to Alex. I tried not to mind but I'm starting to not like the idea.

***

"Alex how can you just let her come here and kick me out like that? Aren't you going to say something?" I said in clear annoyance as soon as Meredith left the house

"She's my best friend Jamie. She's all I've got!" Alex replied in her defense

"I'm here! I'm right here! Or am I just invisible to you when we're not having sex?" I began to raise my voice while dramatically pointing out my presence 

"Jamie I didn't mean it like that. I know you're here and you're everything to me! But Mer, she's been here a long time and we've been through some crazy, twisted things together and I need you to understand that. I know Mer has Derek but he doesn't understand her the way I do. She had Christina Yang but she's gone now and I'm the only one still here. I have to be her person." Alex explained while trying to calm me

Alex was right. I could never understand what he and Meredith and the rest of their group went through. Alex told me the stories and some I could hardly believe. Meredith stuck her hand on a bomb in a body cavity, Alex got shot and so did Derek, Meredith almost drowned, they lost their best friend George, Meredith lost her sister Lexie in a plane crash where Derek lost his best friend Mark. Arizona was also in that plane crash and that's how she lost her leg. Alex married Izzy who got cancer and died in his arms but she was brought back to life and soon left Alex, he dated a crazy chick for a while who tried to convince him she was pregnant and their best friend Christina Yang left to go work in Switzerland. I could never truly understand what they had been through so I just had to trust Alex when he told me Meredith needed him.

"I'm sorry." I apologized hanging my head "I know you guys are close and she needs you, I get it." I said softly

He took me into his strong hold and hugged me tight while gently placing a kiss on top of my head

"No matter what Mer is to me, you are the one person that truly matters to me. I know that whatever happens in that hospital, whatever drama unfolds during the day, I know that I can come home to you every night and just be happy. I don't deserve you and you have no idea how lucky I am to have found you" he whispered gently as he held me tight

***

"Who's service are you on today?" Alex asked groggily as he lazily shuffled from his room

"Robbins" I mumbled as I tried to swallow a mouthful of my toast, watching as Alex made his way towards me

"mmmm" he mumbled into the crook of my neck as he snaked his arms around my waist "I get to spend all week with you" he smiled as he leaned in to snatch a piece of my bacon

"Hey" I laughed as I swiped away his hand "Yours is right there" I pointed out while still smiling at his goofiness 

He picked up his plate of bacon and eggs and began scoffing the whole lot down. I shook my head and laughed as I finished my toast and coffee. I hopped down from the stool at the counter top and brought my plate and mug and placed them in the sink. Alex soon followed suit and placed his on top of mine. I turned around to leave but he soon grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said playfully

"To work" I replied sarcastically 

He began placing kisses on my neck as he pulled me in closer.

"No, Alex. Not now. I'm going to be late and Arizona will kill me!" I tried to pull away but his grip was too strong

He began to laugh against my neck, which tickled and caused me to giggle too.

"Just blame it on me" he whispered as he began to move up and kiss my lips

I pulled my face away and once more tried to push him back.

"Alex, seriously I would stay here all day but I really gotta go" I smiled while wriggling myself out of his grasp

He hung his head and pouted his bottom lip as he looked up at me with his big brown eyes.

"God damn you Alex Karev. Why do you make this so hard for me?" I shook my head as I walked towards him and lifted his head in between my two hands and kissed him softly on the lips

"I'll see you later, ok?" I smiled as I turned and picked up my bag and car keys for work

"See you" he smiled as I walked towards the door

***

"Quinn you're late!" Robbins greeted me with an unusually angry tone

"I'm sorry Dr Robbins, I was held up. It won't happen again" I said while throwing my stethoscope around my neck and running to catch up with her

"Page Shepherd, we've got a kid coming in to the pit with severe bacterial meningitis" Robbins said in a rushed tone, not even acknowledging my presence as she powered through the hallways.

"Yes ma'am" I said as I made my way to the nurses station to pick up my tablet with the patient files and notify the nurse to page Shepherd

"Hurry Quinn. We haven't got all day" Dr Robbins called in an irritated tone from the elevator

I ran to catch the elevator just in time before the doors closed. The tension was palpable between Arizona and I as we rode the elevator silently down to the E.R floor.

This was going to be one hell of a week


	7. Just Silence

"Quinn! Why aren't you finished rounds on my patients yet?" Arizona ordered as she walked past me

"Oh sorry Dr Robbins I thought you wanted me to prep Jack for surgery, Dr Shepherd can finally take him today now that the swelling has cleared on his brain from the meningitis infection" I said in confusion while trying to keep things upbeat

"Well can't you do both? God Dr Quinn you're not a child! Do I have to write down everything you should be doing?" Robbins began to raise her voice 

"No Dr Robbins, I'll go finish my rounds" I said quietly in defeat

"Thought so" she bluntly replied as she walked away

I gave an exasperated sigh. It was finally Friday and I had spent the whole week with a completely different Arizona Robbins than the one I'm used to. 

"Hey, what's up?" I heard a soothing familiar voice behind me

"Oh, hey Alex. Uh nothing. Just Robbins is acting really weird all week" I mumbled as I flicked through my tablet trying to find the next patient I had to round on.

"She's had a bad week, just give her some time. I'm sure she'll realize shes being an ass and she'll come round. She always does" Alex smiled supportively 

"I hope so" I sighed as as I turned to give Alex a small kiss on the cheek "I've got rounds to finish and a patient to prep. I'll see you at home" I smiled

*** 

"Morning Dr Shepherd" I smiled as I wheeled my patient into the OR

"Good morning Dr Quinn" Derek smiled his million dollar smile "Will you be scrubbing in with me this morning?"

"I'm on Dr Robbins service Sir and I've got a ton of paperwork so unfortunately not" I frowned 

"That's a shame Dr Quinn, it's a beautiful morning to save lives" He grinned as he walked away to scrub in

I left the OR and made my way back up to the pediatric floor. I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon taking care of post ops for Dr Robbins and some pre-ops for Alex while also monitoring the NICU. I was beat. 

"Hey Jamie, do you want to scrub in on my surgery?" Alex approached me just as I was about to take a nap

"Yeah sure, what is it?" I asked, sucking up the exhaustion 

"Got a 5 year old who is 6 weeks post aortic valve repair but he's developed fungal endocarditis so Pierce and I have to work on that" Alex informed me as we walked towards the elevator

"Poor kid" I frowned as we entered the elevator and went to the OR floor

We made our way in silence towards OR 2 and we then began to scrub in. Dr Maggie Pierce soon joined us.

"Hey guys" she beamed "good to see you again Dr Quinn, it's been a while! I'm starting to miss you around my OR"

"Hey Dr Pierce" I couldn't help but smile in return "I'll be on your service on Monday"

"Great" she chirped 

We finished prepping and made our way into the OR. The young patient was already under anesthesia so we were ready to begin. I mainly just watched since it was a pretty complicated surgery and I'm still and intern after all. Dr Pierce and Dr Karev are amazing surgeons but this kid was proving to be extremely difficult.

"He keeps crashing. His heart can't take this kind of pressure, he's been under too much strain for too long" Dr Pierce said grimly 

"He's in V-Fib we gotta shock him" Alex said as he turned to the crash cart

"Charge to 20" Dr Pierce ordered

"Clear" Alex called as he placed the paddles directly onto the heart

We all stepped back except for Alex, and watched the electricity heave the kids body from the table. It was both horrifying and heartbreaking to watch. He slumped back onto the table, still flat lining.

"His BP is bottomed out. Push one of epi and charge to 25" Maggie ordered once more

"Clear" Alex said as he placed the paddles once more

Still to no effect as we watched his body fall back onto the table with no signs of life. Alex threw the paddles back onto the crash cart and stuck his hands into the kid's chest.

"I'm starting cardiac massage" Alex said, determined to get this kid back

"Alex step back" Maggie said softly 

Alex continued as he gave a deaf ear to Maggie's instructions

"Alex there's nothing more you can do. He's gone" Maggie raised her voice

"Alex come on" I said as I placed my hands on his shoulders "You did everything you could"

"It's not enough" Alex gritted his teeth, raising his voice at the both of us before removing his hands and slamming them against the crash cart

"Time of death 18:43" Maggie declared

"Damn it" I cursed under my breath as I watched Alex sharply remove his mask and scrub gown

It was always hard losing a patient, but it was always hardest losing a child. It wasn't right and it certainly wasn't fair. I removed my mask, gown and gloves and made my way out of the OR with Dr Pierce.

"Go get some rest Quinn, that was a tough one" Maggie said sympathetically 

I simply nodded in return and made my way towards the on-call room. For some reason the small crevice in the corner of the room seemed more comforting than a cold empty bed. I pressed my back against the wall and slumped into the corner, pulling my knees into my chest. I lay my head back against the cold, hard concrete and closed my eyes. Within a few minutes the door to the room slammed open and a small figure walked into the darkness. They sat onto the bed in a huff and their head disappeared into their hands. I could just barely make out the back of the figure.

"Dr Robbins?" I called out softly

Arizona jumped a little when she herd my voice but she soon relaxed as she realized who it was.

"Oh, sorry to bother you Doctor Quinn" she mumbled as she moved to stand up

"Oh no, no stay. Please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump like that. The corner just seemed more appealing" I smiled as I pulled myself from the floor and walked towards the door

"Doctor Quinn?" Arizona said just as I was about to leave

"Yea?" I said turning to face her

"Will you sit with me for a little bit?" She asked softly. 

I couldn't help but smile at her gentleness, it was a complete 180 from the Arizona Robbins I had seen all week. This was the Arizona I looked forward to seeing everyday.

"Sure" I whispered as I sat in beside her

"Sorry for being such an ass this week" She sincerely apologized but soon burst into sobs

"Hey, hey. What's the matter?" I asked softly as I placed my hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her

"I-I-I I just can't do it anymore, it-it-it's just too hard" she spluttered

"Hey Arizona, what's going on?" I asked quietly 

"M-m-my ex wife is moving across the country and she's trying to take our child with her and she's just dragged me through a week long of court session and I don't know if I'll ever get to see my little girl anymore" She burst into tears once more

I decided now was the time to be a friend and not an intern. I took her into my arms and she placed her head on my shoulder as she cried into my lab coat. Her shoulders moved with her hicks and her crying soon changed to small sobs and then the room was silent. But she remained with her face buried into my shoulder and her arms wrapped around my waist and we stayed like that for a while. Just silence. Peace.


End file.
